Homework 55- Cumulative Project Part 1: Failure

The original project plan that Chris, Jasper, Lucas, and I had was to go and observe a funeral and write about it. Write about the feelings that were being shown, what people were wearing, what interactions were going on. We called the funeral home that Chris had a connection at, and they said there was a public wake from 3-4 on Saturday. Granted I showed up late, Chris, Jasper, and Lucas were sitting in the waiting room, untended to.
The lighting was dim, the floor was black, and the walls were dark. In the lobby there was a waterfall. Everybody that came in and out was wearing black. It seemed like once you stepped into the funeral home you have to be sad, or at least fake it.
Even though we were told two days earlier that it’d be okay to observe what was going on inside the home, we were told by the receptionist that we’d have to talk to the funeral director. Then near 4pm, almost an hour since the first of our group arrived, the funeral director came into the waiting room to address us. While he was very nice about telling us that basically we were too late and had to leave, well he told us that it was too late and we had to leave. He said the service was starting, which is more private then the viewing. Too bad that the whole time we were waiting for him was the viewing time.
I think this is part of the dominant practices we live by though. It’s all behind closed doors. In other cultures it isn’t like this. Anybody can come to a Ghanaian funeral, and they have crazy, festive funerals. Our dominant culture has programmed us to think death as a more delicate topic than necessary. Not only were we lied to about being allowed in, the funeral director strategically kept us out of this persons’ funeral.
Even though I think that this was a failed attempt at exploring our dominant social practices, I also believe that it proved what I suspected true. That death is kept separate from the rest of the world. That when somebody dies, only a select few get to be involved. I’m not saying that everybody in the world should be invited to every funeral, but everybody dies so it’s not that big of a deal. I think that one of the reasons it is made into such a big deal is about the costs. With the average funeral costs nearing $10,000 I can understand why people make a big deal over funerals. Take away that cost and stress goes with it. Funerals become celebrations of life instead of reflections on death.


A video of our unsuccessful ordeal: