Homework 31- Comments 3.

For Jasper:
Knowing that we were doing the same project, I thought I'd read yours. I think that we took different angles and focused on different aspects of it, but overall it was a good post. You did solid research and recapped well. I think that both of our projects were good even though we looked at the same topic from different standpoints. Good work Burt. 
For Bianca:
I read your post looking for insight. This post had a lot of it. It was very well written, and combined the research you did with your real life portion well. One of the top insights from your project was, "It's incredibly important, if not necessary, that we attempt to understand what influences our decisions dealing with illness and dying because in the future, we can spare ourselves from potential or maybe fatal consequences." This is an example of a good insight because it makes the reader think about their life, and what changes they can make to improve it. Along with making readers think personally about themselves, it can also be opened up to the bigger picture. You could ask questions like "Are we hit with any extra influences that we can eliminate from our society?" Another good thing relating to insights in this blog are that they aren't all your insights. In this post it talked about what other people thought. I thought this was a strong piece of writing, and overall well done.
For Beatrice:
Personally, I thought that your speech was the best in the class. The project that you chose to do was very creative. The topic you picked was something I never really thought about. I guess it's just something that is brought up in our first-world society. Or that I'm just not politically aware. But either way it's very interesting. One thing that it brought to mind for me was "Well why aren't people aloud to sell organs? I bet it would encourage a lot more donors." Good post. I like your writing style.
For Amber:
I read your post for depth and insight. I found myself shaking my head while reading your post, not because it is bad, but because it made me think about all the times I blindly trusted someone. That we find ourselves trusting people we don't know all the time, to make our food, to treat us while were sick, to teach us, and the list goes on and on. I think if something is insightful it gets you thinking. That's what your post does. It makes you think, what if this is happening to someone I know. Based off of your research there's a 16% chance it could be. It opens your eyes to things. This project had a lot of depth, as well as great insights.
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From Amber:
I read your post while looking for depth and insight. I liked the topic you chose; to be honest I wasn’t really fond for learning about the HMOs and the health care flaws in the United States. But after reading your assignment, I was able to fully understand our flawed system and how it makes “bad things happen to good people”. I thought you made a great decision of interviewing a homeless man. Usually in our society we try to ignore the homeless and go amongst our daily lives as they live their lives on the streets as wallflowers. From what I can remember, I have never made an attempt to approach a homeless individual to ask about their personal life. While you were sharing the experiment you conducted in the outside world, I was able to learn that this was only one person out of the many who are suffering from a flawed health care system. While reading this I was able to understand where you stand at regarding this nationwide healthcare dilemma. For next time, I would advise you to proof read as there were a few grammar mistakes. Otherwise, nice job.
Amber
From Bianca:
The best part of your writing is that you provided great evidence and statistics that really backed up your overall persuasive point that health care needs reform. The modality I chose was Perspective. Maybe something you could try is relate how you would deal with the health system when it comes your time to take up the responsibility to pay for insurance among other things. You provided a well-thought out narrative perspective of the homeless man though, a video would have probably provided much more of a visual aid that would have made me even more interested. One thing that I would advise for you to do is to give your introduction some more brevity. Though it is concise, you want readers to have a sufficient background knowledge on how health care started and how it became the way it is.
From Ryan (Younger, Little brother):
I wouldn't have thought of interviewing a homeless guy if I had to do a project like this. That's good creativity. I think your best line was: "Illness and dying are things that from the surface seem pretty straightforward. People think that you just go to the hospital, either get better or die. In reality there are many factors to illness and dying." I think this because it is a good introduction and gets the person reading it interested.