Homework 21- Expert # 1

Top insights/experiences from Beth:

1.     Modern society puts a blanket over death, it is no longer seen as natural.

2.     It was important for Beth to take care of her husband, not doctors.

3.     It was very important that Eric was seen for his life and not his disease in the hospital.

4.     There is a time where you have to let go.

5.     The last ten days of Eric’s life were the best ten days of their marriage because all she had to focus on was her husband.

 There is a time where you have to let go. I totally agree with this idea. Nothing lasts forever. Yes, cliché, but also true. Eric had to let go of life. Beth had to let go of Eric. I feel like it’s knowing when to fight and when to let go that’s the hard part. For Eric, there was only so much fighting that could be done towards a terminal disease. But as Beth said, he was still a fighter, and he fought until she said it was time to stop fighting and let go. From my experiences, nobody that is dying really wants to lose their life; they want to fight for life. This is, until they realize that they can’t fight anymore because it won’t do any good, or more commonly they are told they can’t change what is happening. An experience I have with this was when my Aunt Catherine was dying. She devoted her life to teaching. She was always putting other people before herself. So when she was diagnosed with untreatable lung caner, it was time for her to put herself first. She fought and fought wouldn’t give up. But the fighting was only delaying the inevitable result of death. And the more she fought, the worst her health got. She didn’t have to fight anymore. So her father told her that it’s okay to let go. That she would be happier letting go. So she let go, and she died. But she seemed like she was happier dying this way. She let go of life, and we let go of her. The experiences I have with the idea of letting go are similar to Beth’s, showing a possible trend in the process of dying. But as there are people like Beth and I who believe there is only so much fighting somebody can do, there has to be an opposition who says that fighting as much as you can is the best way to go. Because if there weren’t two sides to the idea, we would either see everybody fighting or submitting. Which definitely is not the reality of things.

Modern society puts a blanket over death, it is no longer seen as natural. I definitely agree that modern society tries to almost hide death, but I also think that it is still seen as natural. While I don’t have any statistical evidence saying, “92% of America believes death is natural.” There is something that we do that shows we still feel death is a natural thing. Society tells young children that death is just something that has to happen, that it is natural. Because society tries to shield our young from the cruel and harsh realities of the world, society tells them what we want them to believe. If society is still telling our kids it is natural, chances are, that’s what we believe too. As for masking trying to mask death, that’s why dying happens in a hospital, around people that mostly have no emotional attachment to you. Personally, most of my family opts to spend this “dying time” where they feel comfortable, which is generally in their homes. So I don’t have much experience with dying in your home versus in a hospital. But I imagine that dying in your home must be a much more pleasing experience, as most of my family chooses this way, and from the way Beth described it. Being at home seems much more personal and pleasurable.

Though I was absent for the actual presentation, I know about Beth’s story, and I had notes from fellow classmates. So it still sparked some thought’s into my head, even though I think I would have more if I were there for the actual presentation. The first thing I started to think about was, when the time comes, be it next week, or in sixty years, how will I deal with dying? It kind of bothers me that I can’t answer that question.  There are just too many factors to consider. My age, what I am dying of, what type of family I have, where I am, and the list can go on and on. I guess I’ll just have to live, or maybe better said, die, in the moment. Another thing that came in to my head while learning about this story was sympathy. Which is probably a pretty common emotion when thinking about this story. But what alarmed me about this was that I’m not sure if I was feeling sympathy because that was what I was taught to feel, or if it was genuine sympathy. I think it may be a little bit of both, but I think I don’t feel pure genuine sympathy because I never really had to deal with a situation like this. I understand how losing somebody like that isn’t a good experience by any means, and how painful it is, but I also believe you can’t fully understand something until you have personal experience with it.